Radio Silence

by Lucia Fasano

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about

A great deal of my life has centered around loss, or fear of loss. When my grandma, NYC detective Marie Cirile Spagnuolo (also known in the papers as "Lady Tiger"), passed away in 2011, I was singing in my band, and drove cross country to help clear out her house. We found a magical old mandolin in a beat up tweed case, which I named Mando Calrissian. I had never played before, but started learning Neutral Milk Hotel songs and songwriting with the few chords that I knew, to deal with my grief. Soon I incorporated the mandolin into my band's act, and began performing solo shows. A short time after, I had moved to Portland, OR to study and pursue comedy and music.

By the summer of 2014, I'd accumulated a great deal of songs and gigs. Songs about my grandma, my family, my partner, my friends and fear and life, and then my greatest nightmare occurred–– my dad passed away without warning. I was living in Portland, he was living in LA. My dad was fundamentally a reason why I wrote songs in the first place, why I sang them, and why I believe I have songs and stories to tell. I decided, as soon as possible, to record my solo album. That winter, I began recording with producer Larry Crane.

This album captures this time from adolescence to adulthood, the rise and fall of hope and fear and grief. It's a snapshot of being a girl unable to sleep because they feel buried alive, taken out of moments due to worry over their father's health, the ecstasy of being in love, the distant loneliness of being on tour and playing shows in warehouses, and the promise of possibility that keeps us all persisting, despite the risk of more heartbreak. It's this era, lovingly wrapped up in a messy twine, for you to discover, while I continue to grow as an artist and person.

Producer Larry Crane worked closely with me to ensure that this album represented myself, at that moment, as a solo artist. I am playing mandolin and singing like you would find me at a local cafe or punk club, with the songs the way I wrote them. My partner, musician Kyle McCormick, features on the album with guitar, keys, and more, with Larry playing bass, guitar, and keys. Larry gave the album an incredible direction, emphasizing the natural thematic through-line and the heart of the songs. I am thrilled to deliver an album that is as eclectic as myself, with songs ranging from folk, to punk, to jazz, with the lightness of comedy and the most authentic of my tragedy. This album balances the conceptual with the experienced. The part of me that loves concept albums, rock operas and showtunes finds a place through metaphor in songs like "Winter is Coming", "Little Bell" and "Raindrop", while also documenting real life events like the fight to legalize equal marriage in "Beautiful Day" or mourning my loved ones in "F". This album not only transports me back to these moments in my life, but to just the three of us, myself, Larry, and Kyle, working together, making this album by hand. it's an album that I wish I could have put in the glove compartment of my mom's car, for my younger self to discover while we drove around in the car blasting Patti Smith and singing along.

credits

released September 20, 2016

Radio Silence
Written and performed by Lucia Fasano
Recorded and produced by Larry Crane at Jackpot Recording in Portland, Oregon

Lucia Fasano – vocals, mandolin, ukulele, keys, percussion
Larry Crane – bass, keys, acoustic guitar
Kyle McCormick – electric guitar, piano, drums

Nerd Boy, produced by The Doubleclicks
Aubrey Webber - bass, backup vocals

Album mastered by Garrett Haines at
Treelady Studios in Pittsburgh, PA

Album photos by Jessie Kirk,
Illustration by Lucia Fasano

Thanks to my mom, my dad, my brothers, my family,
Kyle McCormick, Larry Crane & Jenna Zine, Angela & Aubrey
Webber, Barbara Holm, Jeni Houston, Amelia Stone, Lewis
Sequeira, Kevin M. Arnold, Chiara Grassia, Brittany Scheffler, Kasey Clark, Bevin Abbe, Justin and Heather Lubin, Ann Howard, and my old and new friends.

luciacfasano@gmail.com
twitter.com/lucia_fasano
luciafasano.com
Released by Doubleclicks Records
© Lucia Fasano, 2016

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about

Lucia Fasano Portland, Oregon

I'm a musician, comedian, artist, and writer. I make the web series Catty B's (cattybs.com) and released my first solo album Radio Silence, produced by Larry Crane at Jackpot Recording in Portland, OR, on Doubleclicks Records.

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Track Name: Beautiful Day
It’s a, it’s a
Beautiful day
To fall in love
(repeat)

Oh yes
It’s a, it’s a
Beautiful day
To feel all your love
Oh yes
It’s a, it’s a
Beautiful day
To come out for love

So don’t be jealous
Of my love
And don’t be frightened
By my cause
Cause if you love someone
Love their flaws
And over my bed
There’s no cross

Oh yes
It’s a, it’s a
Beautiful day
To feel all your love
Oh yes
It’s a, it’s a
Beautiful day
To show me your love
Track Name: F
Let’s try F, let’s try F
My fingers are not strong enough
My tea is not strong enough
Nothing is strong enough for me
And I am not fast enough,
I am not fast enough to keep
But I’ll try F, I’ll try F
But I’m not gonna make you
Proud of this

You’ve been gone for almost a year
And as they all drop off the face of the Earth
I will wonder, who is next?
Let’s try F, let’s try F again.
And maybe out of my pain,
Something new I will gain
Let’s try F, all day.

I think there was a reason why
We invented all these holidays
I know it’s not for Jesus Christ
They’d all been there anyway
I think that when all the leaves fall off
We know it’s time for death
Death

So we’ll try F, we’ll try anything
To keep our minds off burying each other
We’ll make one another a cake,
And we’ll try F, we’ll try anything
To make us go to bed

We’ll try F, we’ll try F
And in the midst of all the celebrating,
We’ll realize that we’re celebrating
Death
Oh death
Oh death
Track Name: Hey Dude
Hey dude what you saying to me,
Hey dude what you want?
Hey dude why you comin’ to me,
Hey dude what you got?

I’m not always caring
You weren’t always there for–
Doo doo doo doo doo (x2)
And if you were right,
I would sit in your class

And if you were always honest
And if you were always nice
And if you were always interesting
And if you were always mine
But you’re not going to come back
And you’re not going to finish this class
And you’re not going to leave her

Hey dude what you saying to me,
Hey dude what you want?
Hey dude why you comin’ to me,
Hey dude what you got?

I’m not always careful
You weren’t always
there for–
Doo doo doo doo doo (x2)

And you wanted to touch
And you wanted to be had
And you wanted it so desperately
And you wanted it so bad
And you wanted to be
And you wanted to be with me
But you’ll never be a part
If you’re still fast asleep

Hey dude what you saying to me,
Hey dude what you want?
Hey dude why you comin’ to me,
Hey dude what you got?
Hey dude what you saying to me,
Hey dude what you got?
Hey dude why you comin’ to me,
Hey dude what you want?

I’m not always careful
You weren’t always
There for me
Doo doo doo doo doo (x2)
Track Name: Not About You
You and me and oh,
Ever since we moved to WeHo
I’ve been so happy
Yes you know
I still get sad though
But you know that it’s not about you

I’m happy to be sharing your bed
Staring over at your brown messy head
I know that when I look at you
It’s exactly what I want to do
For decades and centuries and bicentennials
I’ll always want to be
Looking at the back of your head

When I will look back
I’ll think of all the things that we had
Things like our band and our art–
Netflix shows that wouldn’t start
Falling asleep, listening to your heart

You and me and oh,
Ever since we moved to Portland O’
I’ve been so happy yes you know
That wherever we go,
I’ll always want to be together
Track Name: Little Bell
Waking up, like I’ve done before
Thousand times, times before

Little bell, they put a little bell
Little bell, they put a little bell
So they know I’m alive

Waking up, but it’s not like before
It’s like I fell out of bed,
My feet touch the floor
Waking up, but it’s not the same.

Little bell, they put a little bell
Little bell, they put a little bell
At my side, so I can find it
If I’m alive
Waking up, waking up
Like I’ve always done
What if the little bell
Is never rung?
Track Name: Raindrop
When you said that you missed me,
I was so surprised
I could see some excitement deep in
Your eyes
When you said you wanna see me,
Nothing could more please me
I had hoped for this for all season
It’s just a little raindrop,
But I am hoping it pours

So baby can you hear me?
It’s cold and it’s dreary
Dark clouds are gathering for a meeting
I only have one hope
You’ll give me your raincoat
Say that you’ll be mine and you mean so
It’s just a little raindrop,
But I am hoping it pours

As rain clouds are in attendance
It would be so tremendous
If I could feel your arms ‘round my shoulder
I only have one hope
You’ll give me your raincoat
Say that you’ll be mine and you mean so
It’s just a little raindrop
But I am hoping it pours
It’s just a little raindrop
But I am hoping it
Pours
Track Name: Lullaby
Why do we recycle old lullabies?
Why do they not grow old with time?
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
I wish I may, I wish I might
I wish I might

If we could all sleep like babies
In the amniotic rockings of the waves
If we could all sleep like babies
I wish I may, I wish I might
I wish I might
Track Name: Powertrip
I can’t help but feel a tinge of sorrow
When I look at astronaut fossils
Tar pits are just slower black holes
We gutted the old girl and sucked the marrow
And space stations are now a waste of space
And you wanted to come to my place
And you wanted to breathe in outer space
All of those things are not happening

So shout
If you need me if you’re calling for help
I can barely hear you from the other room
You in yours and me in mine, parallel,
We keep it that way so you have to try

I, oh.
And I, oh.
I want to love you forever
But I, oh.

Say you on another day
I don’t know what to say
It’s cold and it is getting late
You didn’t want me anyway
So I want to go now
Take me into your home now
Cause I, oh
And I

What is it that you mean?
I didn’t know you could be so mean
And now you want nothing to do with me
And I want nothing to do with me
So I, want to go now
Let me into your home now
Cause I, oh
And I

Say you on another day
I don’t know what to say
And I didn’t ask for anything
I didn’t hope for anything

Say you wanted me again
You never were my friend
You’ll take me round and round and then
I’m back on the bus again
So I, want to go now
Take me out to the show now
Cause I love your power
And I want you over me
And under
Track Name: Radio Silence
Radio waves
Getting caught in my hair
And in my brain
I go outside hope to find
That things have maybe changed
But where there’s music
There’s also heartbreak
Is it worth it to be
Is it worth it to do it anyway?
Radio silence
It’s violently the
Most negative space
I have felt in this horrid desert place
For you want love
And it’s love that you’ll take
But you’ll be disappointed
With what you get instead
In its place
You’re the worst thing about this place

Hey little one
You have worn out your very own
You can put down your gun
You can wait it out
Until the fighting’s done
For there’s no way
You can ever get away
And you’re gone away

Radio waves
It’s infrequent frequency I hate
Lie after lie perpetuates
And you’re turned my enemy
Radio silence
For your other way
I’ve not the time to waste
I will fight for you
’Til I leave you safe
And clean
Radio Silence
It’s all I can take
I’m not waiting for you
I’m not waiting to meet you
At the gates
It’s not the same
And it’s not a game to play
And you’re gone away

Radio Silence
It’s violently the
Most negative space
I have felt in this horrid desert place
For you want love
And it’s love that you’ll take
But you’ll be disappointed
With what you get instead in its place
Track Name: Save Me
Save me, save me, I am a lost cause
Save me, save me, I am all alone
I’m all alone and without you I can’t see
Save me, save me, save me, save me

Save me, save me, I am a lost cause
Save me, save me, I have astigmatism
I’m all alone and without you I can’t see
So save me, save me, save me–
I’ve got a little problem
I’m afraid of the dark
I’ve got a little problem
I’m covered in awe

Save me, save me, I am a lost cause
Save me, save me, I am all alone
Save me, save me, I want to be free
So save me, save me, save me, save me–
I’m not saying you aren’t
But I’m in trouble
So help me out
Burst my bubble

Where were you?
I really needed your help now
And where were you?
I’m slowly dying out
And where were you?
Can you hear me now
When I call you
Clearly

Save me, help me, I am a lost cause
Save me, help me, I’m covered in awe
Oh say, say you want to stay with me
You’re not, you’re not, you’re not listening
I’ve got a fucking problem
And you’re not here
I’ve got a fucking problem
Oh my dear
I’ve got a fucking problem
Track Name: When My Eyes are Closed
When my eyes are closed
I see with the most clarity
I don’t need bended glass
To show me what I need to see
And I have spent countless hours
Rehearsing the final scenes
I have been living life
Not riding the hilarity

And I have had many dreams
They wake me up mid-crying
If on assignment I could close my eyes
And be flying
I would be so much stronger now
I practice everyday and how
And if you could see me stand
I swear to god you’d be so proud

When my eyes are closed
I take stock of what’s in my head
I feel my eyes rolling around
I feel my sinuses burn red
And I have spent countless hours
Harnessing my superpowers
And one day when no one’s watching
I will save the entire town
Track Name: Winter Is Coming
What’s that chilly wind
From the north hills
Beckoning for some vengeance
Close my eyes
Hear war drums drumming
Time is now
Winter’s coming, coming
Run away, run away

If you want, want to fight me
I have lost friends and family
Wondering, how could this happen?
No time to think, choose your weapon, weapon
Run away, run away

I grew cold, And grew tired
So I will give birth to fire, fire
Crown of gold and
Crown of scale
Through the smouldering left of the realm, realm
Run away, run away

Hear me please,
I am calling
No time to think
War is coming, coming
Run away, run away
Track Name: Nerd Boy
I can’t believe I found a boy
Who likes all the things I do
He’s not like all the other boys–
He’s got glasses too
I met him at a comic book shop
He reads Kate Beaton and Knisley
If there was only a way I could
get this boy to like me

He likes salads and tofu and feelings
He thinks the girl Ghostbusters is cool
And when I see my nerd boy ‘round the block,
There is no Dana,
Only love-sick fool

Ooh Ooh, I wanna be with this nerd boy
Ooh Ooh, but he’s too rad
Oooh Ooh, I wanna be with this nerd boy
He references stuff I like

Can’t believe I found the boy
He likes all the things I do
He washes his hands after the bathroom
Uses deodorant that isn’t Axe, too
He puts his feelings into words
So I can understand what’s on his mind
He cares about local politics
So my repro justice ain’t in a bind

He likes salads and tofu and feelings
He likes burgers and pizza and eating
He likes music and movies and reading
He likes babies and puppies and breathing
He references stuff I like
I wanna be your girlfriend
But I’m too shy
Track Name: Your Face is a Mess
Your face is a mess
I know
Your house it is falling down
Your body is caught within
I’m wondering how you’ve been
And how’d you, how’d you know

Your face is a mess, I know
You’re undressing in the snow
And the cold is so cold, is so cold
I won’t go with you, I won’t
And how’d you, how’d you know

Your face is a mess
I know
You’re not at your best
I know
And how are you so alone
I’ve given you all know

And how’d you, how’d you say
That’s all that there is today
And how’d you, how’d you say
Your father has gone away
And how’d you, how’d you know?